Life etc.

Attachment to the Outcome

I posted this as a reply to a forum post on my Suzi Blu workshop discussing how we’d each lost our desire to make art, or if not the desire the gumption to just DO IT.  My story is pretty similar to the other ones posted there & the main problem boils down to something I struggle with in a lot of areas of my life – attachment to the outcome.

I loved drawing & making art as a kid, but once I got to high school it was time to decide what I was going to be for the rest of my life.  How does anyone have any clue at 16 years old what they’re going to be like when they’re 30?  It’s insane.

I decided I wanted to become a psychologist, so I filled up my course schedule with 3 sciences, math, statistics, English etc.  My electives got eaten up by the college prep stuff so I didn’t have time to take any of the “fun” classes in high school, like art or shop or home ec.  Which is funny to me now since those are the classes I would actually USE in my day to day life!  (After 1 year of college I figured out that even though I find human psychology fascinating, it would be very unhealthy for me to be immersed in it full time.)

Now I’m trying to make art for the sake of making art, for enjoying the creative process, for the love of feeling my hand move a brush loaded with paint across a canvas.  I’m trying to let go of my attachment to the outcome & NOT think 10 steps down the path.

Could I earn a living making art at some point?  It doesn’t matter.  Will I show anyone my art?  It doesn’t matter.  It’s not the point.  Just gotta breathe deep & let go!  And PLAY!!!!

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