Life etc.

*sniffle*

I have lots of things I want to share with you, but I’ve been so sick for the last week (10 days?) that I’ve had absolutely no energy to do anything.  I don’t think I’ve ever been sick for this long before.  I keep coughing and coughing and coughing.  I finally lost my voice this weekend though it’s starting to come back today.

One of the downsides to being self-employed is that you don’t get “sick days”.  I can’t imagine a job that would have allowed me to take over a week off like this anyway, but with my froggy throat and constant hacking, I wouldn’t have had any other option.  Customer service?  An office job?  I would’ve been sent straight home.

As my body starts to fight this bug, I can pop on my computer for a bit amid piles of Kleenex and tea cups.  I can check my email and put out any major fires.  But I have zero energy to do any real creative work.  That just makes me feel even more out of touch with myself.

I forced myself to go to my painting class last week and it was a huge struggle to get through the class with my eyes open.  I’m sure all of my coughing and sniffling was annoying to the other students too.  Tomorrow I have class again and I’m still sick and still haven’t done my homework.  I need this fog lifted!  I need my SELF back!

Health is one of those things that I think most of us take for granted until there’s a problem.  If this was something serious, I’m not sure what I’d do.  I’ve been self-employed since my early 20s and it has crossed my mind from time to time that if I were really sick or in a car accident or something major, I’d be in trouble.

If I don’t work, I don’t get paid.  Sometimes even when I *do* work, I don’t get paid!  There is no holiday pay or sick days or health insurance.  Living in Canada means that I would never have medical bills, and I’m definitely grateful for that, but that wouldn’t keep a roof over my head if I were unable to work.

I’ve been offered various insurance plans over the years for self-employed folks, but I think I would have a difficult time being able to demonstrate a loss of income to an insurance company.  My income fluctuates wildly.  I can hardly submit on an insurance claim – “Well, I think I would’ve painted 23 canvases.  I’m pretty sure they would’ve all sold this month.  Plus a few from last month.  Plus a bunch of prints.  How many?  How about…say…40?”

Before I was painting it wouldn’t have been much different.  Whatever the field, it has always came down to sales, which are unpredictable.  I figure the last thing I’d want to be doing when my health is in dire straits is arguing with an insurance company about how much money I might have, could have, should have been earning.  Sounds like my monthly budget meeting with myself!

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